. Saturday, September 29, 2018 .

So here you are; confused, broken and wondering what the fuck happened. 

You were having an amazing few weeks, maybe even months of getting to know someone and you “catched feels” *cue the Kiiara playlist*. 

Then before you knew it, you detected a negative shift in energy and you knew exactly what was coming your way. 

You frantically google “why did he/she pull away?” and all sources try and give you a false sense of reassurance that this behaviour is normal. Controversial opinion alert - I’m here to tell you, that in the age of Tinder and Bumble - This. Is. Not. True. 10% of cases yes, but otherwise - NO.

One morning you opened up WhatsApp only to find a long message crafted with influence from the “How to break up with someone you’re seeing” article on Wikihow. You then think to yourself that’s it, there’s nothing you can do, but you know there’s an underlying sense of dishonesty and it makes you question your worth. 

Before you doubt your sense of being any further - let me tell you this: 

The reason this particular cretin couldn’t be honest and end things like a real human should do - is because they got scared. They’re scared because things were moving at such a lovely pace that they couldn’t believe something so lovely was happening. They fear getting hurt again, they fear ‘losing’ their identity or better yet - they fear not being able to swim in the sea for a little bit longer.

Sucks, right? In the modern dating scene it's becoming more apparent than ever to grow thick skin and swerve away from those who can't comprehend something real.

So - How do you learn to overcome all this doubt and hurt I hear you ask? Let me tell you: 

Listen to a shit ton of podcasts and watch loads of videos on the subject

That’s right - I’m talking Matthew Hussey the fuck out of your day until you’ve listened to the solid, hard truth and cried it out.

Don’t blame them too much

As painful as this is to admit - they don’t owe you shit. 

You don’t owe them shit either. 

However - people take this to the extreme and unleash their inner narcissist to hurt others. Accept that it’s part of life to change how you feel, but to be dishonest? Nah, not ok. It’s draining and it hurts like fuck. They. Ain't. Shit.

Cry, cry and cry some more

Crying is the tits. Swallow your pride, stop bottling your emotions up and fucking cry. You’ll feel 10x better, promise hun. 

Take a break, have a dating detox 

Dating is hard work. It takes serious amounts of energy (and money) - so give yourself and your bank account a break until you feel like you’re ready to meet someone new.

Dress up and gtfo the house hun 

I don’t necessarily mean getting 2on with your pals. Go to the gym and work on your body, take a class, walk somewhere or hop on a train to somewhere new. Change up your routine to focus on healing the mind in whatever means suits you.

Take a sexy ass picture 

No I don’t mean a nude (unless you’re into that - then go for it, just don’t be that dickhead that sends unsolicited photos). Look your best, snap it and upload it on all your social channels. Let’s face it - times like these, the validation and compliments do wonders for the self-esteem.

Block the betch

No stalking, no seeing what they’re up to and no reminiscing. You’re only going to undo the progress you’ve made. You. Don’t. Owe. Them. Shit - so don’t succumb your eyeballs to such a sickening sight. On that note...

Delete every evidence of them

That means whatever your phone has autosaved from chats, pictures together, screenshots you’ve sent to friends to diagnose their messages.

I hope this helps you find your own solace and helps you discover yourself again.

. Tuesday, July 17, 2018 .

Figuring out where you are and where you want to be can be a challenging venture.
Give yourself time, forgiveness and the care you need to get back on your feet.

Remember - your illness does not define you.

. Tuesday, January 30, 2018 .

Kimono - Tesco
Denim Shorts - Vintage Lee Jeans
Bag + tights - Primark

Photography: Almir Avdich

I don't think there's anything quite like having your investment batted off your interest's shoulders. After coming out of a horrible relationship and back into the dating scene - it's opened my eyes to an abundance of bad behaviour exhibited by some awful people, that in the past I would have excused.

But not anymore.